Dot Hack: DARE
by AzureHaseo91
Summary: This is a revised version of the original. Read first chapter for ruls. welcome to anything goes randomness of The World. Things might et a bit crazy hahaha
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning

Disclaimer: I do not own .hack series. If I did I would make an Android version of Haseo and Alkaid :-). I do however own my OC Abara so back off hahaha. And please admins let this story stay :-D

Azure: Hello everyone and welcome to the randomness which is my house. Or it will be here in a brief minute hahaha. First let me get someone *sticks his hand into his computer and starts feeling around till he pulls out a taller Adept Rogue then drops him on the floor*

?: Ugn...where the hell am I and what the hell is going on?

Azure: your in my house dude...

?: Huh? Oh you must be - - -*slap slap slap* ow what the fuck man?!

Azure: *puts his rubber mallet back in his dresser* Don't say it. I don't want this story to end so quickly. We must be respectful of the admins here. Stick to Azure alright Abara?

Abara: Alright, alright. So why am I here, anyway?

Azure: Well first go back to Mac Anu and grab the gang for me while I tell our readers what to expect.

Abara: Haha and if I refuse to do it?

Azure: *smiles so calmly the ceiling light explodes* Then I will make your life hell, of course.

Abara: *sweat drops* um I was Kidding man. *jumps through a data tear*

Azure: well while he is doing that I will explain the rules to you all!

~~~review with questions or dares for anyone from the dot hack series. This includes:

**dot hackers

**avatars/phases

**gruntys

**aura/morganna

**myself and Abara

~~~no yaoi please (I tried it once on request...didn't end well)

~~~Please try to not overdo it with the dares. Stick to five dares and three questions max please.

~~~You can send characters to areas with keywords but please tell me what they go to.

~~~I will be bringing in a special guest every so often to mix things up.

Abara: *jumps out of the tear along with Haseo, Atoli, Sakubo, and Alkaid along with their real life selves* here you go. Are these the PCs you were looking for?

Azure: yes that will do for now. Thanks.

Haseo: What the? Hey who are you?

Azure: Call me Azure. And your all here to answer questions and do dares.

Alkaid: Is that so? And what happens if we tell you to fuck off instead?

Azure: Then you will have to do one of my possibly more painful or dangerous dares which you probably won't survive.

Everyone: *sweat drops and takes a step back*

Azure: I guess everyone understands. Now, Saku and Bo could you please send us off? I'm getting hungry.

Bo: Okay mister azure. *looks at readers shyly* Please review so mister azure can continue his story.

Saku: If you don't I will tear your nuts off and stomp on them, got it?!

Please review! :-)


	2. Chapter 2: Demonstration

.hack/DARE Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own the dot hack series. If I did I would treat Sakaki the same way I treat Aizen from Bleach...Shit! I don't own Bleach either...

Azure: *paces back and forth from the kitchen to the computer checking it every time and every time he groans with anger*

Alkaid: *nudges Abara* Hey, what's his deal?

Abara: He thought reviews would have came in by now. Now he is pissed and we are probably gonna pay for it...

Azure: No you won't. Though I am getting irritated. Sigh.

Atoli: Don't be so upset Azure. Be patient and the reviews will come. *smiles genuinely*

Haseo: Why not pass the time and give me a dare to do. I want to be ready for the reviewers.

Azure: You sure about this Haseo?

Haseo: Hell yes. Do your worst!

Abara: Oh you should not have said that man..

Azure: Hahaha you asked for it. Haseo I dare you to grope Pi while Atoli and Alkaid are watching.

Haseo: *turns whiter than his outfit* You serious?! I can't do that!

Azure: Then you get thrown into the Yaoi Pit.

Abara: Wait when did we get that?

Azure: Well it was a gift from Mentor.

Abara: That figures.

Haseo: Okay okay I will do it...*creeps up to Pi* Hey old hag.

Pi: I'm not a hag. What do you want Has-

Haseo: *grabs Pi's breasts from behind* This is what I wa-

Pi: *turns around and cracks Haseo throwing him about a hundred yards*

Haseo: *gets up slowly* ow fuck that hurt...

Atoli and Alkaid: Your dead Haseo!

Haseo: oh Shit! Ap Do! *Takes off running at top speed with the three girls in tow*

Abara: how long are you going to allow them to chase him?

Azure: hmmm...until I get some reviews in. He asked for it after all. Well since I already disclaimed Bleach I will explain. Atoli and Alkaid in jealous mode is like Ururu and Yuoichi. Very vicious...

Abara: Good point.

*we both hear a crack and look over in time to see Haseo flying across the room and through the wall*

Azure: Atoli caught up with him.

Abara: I will get the cleaners and med kit *walks off*

Azure: well guys I gotta go stop WW 3 in the back yard. Mistral send us off please.

Mistral: Alrighty. Please review so we can find rare treasure!

Review PLEASE!


	3. Chapter 3

Dot Hack: DARE

Chapter three: The First Of Many

Disclaimer: I do not own the dot hack series. If I did I would be in a hot tub with Atoli, Pi, and Alkaid...don't judge me. I do own my OC Abara (adept rogue).

*everyone is sprawled out in the big front room asleep until...*

*knock knock knock...BANG!*

Sakaki: *now squished under the door groaning and bleeding* uuuhhh why...

Azure: *looks down at Sakaki then shrugs running to his computer* Finally!

Abara: What's the rush, man?

Azure: I was at the library when I saw in my email I had a new review. I was so pumped I ran back here to check it out.

Haseo: *still slightly bruised up* So this crazy event will actually begin? It's about damn time.. *frying pan hits him in the head and he goes unconscious*

Atoli and Alkaid: Who asked for your input?

Bo: *pokes Haseo's half dead body* Big Bro are you alright?

Abara: Ya know they scare even me when they get jealous...so what's the review say?

Azure: I'm putting it up on the big screen *snaps his fingers and a huge TV appears in the room* Alrighty let's take a look.

_-** FoolsSin **_

_**Adachi:(is shocked to find another truth/dare fic for me) Yo (name bleeped out) I found another truth/dare fic for ya! (I immediately shove Adachi out of the seat and pop up) Me: hey, I really think you should have gotten some reviews.**_

Azure: Hey there *beep* and *beep* how are ya? Thanks for reviewing!

Everyone: *looks at me with a shocked look on their faces*

Azure: What?...He beeped me first.

_**just to let you know though, you should be asking for the truths/dares via PM cause getting them from reviews is against the rules. **_

Abara: *raises his hand* uhh-

Azure: Don't you say it, Abara...

Abara: Alright, I won't say it...so I will get the rest of the group to do it.

Everyone: We told you so!

Azure: sigh...Shit. Thanks Foolsin.

_**anyways, I love this type of fic so I'll give you some things to start off with:**_

Azure: Sweet! Now we are getting the good stuff. Let's see what's in store for us.

_**Truths: Pi what's your favorite animal?**_

Pi: Well, I have an interest in pandas. Other than that any animals that Master Yata likes or wants.

Kuhn: *chuckles* From what I heard animals are not the only thing you like and want from that guy-*fist comes out of nowhere hitting Kuhn in the face sending him across the room and through the wall*

Pi: I think that's quite enough from you, womanizer.

Azure: holy Shit...dammit I'm gonna have to fix that...sigh.

_**Kuhn, what did you go as during your last costume party?**_

Azure: Umm sorry man he's kinda...yeah he's really fucked up right now. But I do have a picture of what he looked like *pulls a picture out of thin air and shows the picture of Kuhn half naked in womans clothing to everyone and all their faces turn fifty shades of red then bust out laughing to the point of death*

Azure: Ummm...maybe I should not do that again *claps his hands and they are all healed* you see Fools he was really wasted that time so he thought it would be a good idea to dress as a woman to an extreme level...He thought he would get dates...Don't ask

_**and now for the dares: (Adachi yells out "Remember to specify what kind of sharks they are this time!") Right Haseo I dare you to spend an hour in a dark closet alone with Atoli and Alkaid**_

Azure: Well right now the girls are still pissed at Haseo, but I know how to please my viewers *snaps his fingers and a clone of Haseo, Atoli, and Alkaid appear right beside the originals* now the clones are the exact same as the originals the only difference is that the clones know nothing of the events from the last chapter so they are not mad. Alright originals you take the left closet. Clones you take the right one. You must stay in there for one hour so I will be back around the chapters ending.

O. Haseo: Aw Shit...sigh this is gonna suck. *walks with the two girls in the left closet and shuts the door*

C. Haseo: Well I guess. What do I have to lose? *follows into the right closet and also shuts the door*

Abara: I'm worried...

Azure: Yeah man I got that gut feeling as well...

_**Sakaki I dare you to swim 5 laps in a pool filled with Great White sharks. Unfortunately for you Sakaki I learned my lesson from daring Axel in a KH ToD fic which ended up with *ugh* harmless basking sharks being in thepool.**_

Sakaki: Bring it on! I can not be defeated I am the future ruler of The World!

Azure: Oh really? We will see about that *snaps fingers and appears is a Olympic sized pool filled with hungry Great White sharks with laser beams on their heads* Good thing Sakaki is a ass hat in my book as well.

Abara: uhh...what's with the beams?

Azure: I was watching this movie last night...and I thought the reviewer would enjoy it. Plus it makes me laugh.

Abara: Dude sometimes you scare the Shit outta me.

Azure: Well in you go jackass five laps. Begin! *kicks Sakaki into the pool and watches as the sharks immediately start shooting lasers at him and chase him down to the other end*

_**(Jaws theme plays)**_

Azure: *looks around confused* what the hell? Where is that coming from? Am I hearing stuff? Are the voices back?! Oh God make it stop!

Abara: *holding a stereo system* sorry Azure that was me.

Azure:...asshole...

_**Adachi: (evil grin pops up) Do I have permission to watch him get mauled by the sharks and record it? me:yes, yes you do because I hate Sakaki and I hope he bleeds enough to have the sharks come after him.**_

Azure: oh yeah I forgot about that part *pulls out his gun and shoots a frantically swimming Sakaki in the hand making him bleed and making the sharks swim faster* come on Sakaki two laps to go!

Sakaki: DAMMIT YOU ASSHOLE! *now swimming at the speed of light making another lap*

Matsu: Come on you piece of Shit die already!

Azure: Half a lap to go Saka-*at that moment a huge shark leaps from the water and takes him under*

Abara: ...

Azure: ...

Matsu: ...

*Sakaki's body floats up to the surface limply and blood soaked*

Azure: well in the fight between sharks and a dickhead the sharks won. *snaps his fingers and revives Sakaki but when he stands up he gets kicked in the nuts by FoolsSin making him fall to the ground crying* Ummm...wow. Well that's all the time we have for today guys-

Abara: Wait wait wait what about the Haseos?

Azure: oh hell I almost forgot...alright guys time is up come on out.

*the originals come out first. Haseo looks like his ass got kicked but at the same time has kiss marks all over him and his clothes look a bit torn up*

Azure: Did you have a good time in there guys?

Haseo: *blushing and rubbing his head* The first half was brutal but it got better after that. Mind your business.

*the second closet opens and all three clones walk out in each others arms. The clone Haseo looks less beat up but his shirt is destroyed and each girl's hair and clothes are very messed up*

Azure: and how did your experience go?

C. Haseo: *leans down and kisses makes out with each girl* can we go again?

Azure: sadly no.

Abara: holy Shit I didn't know anything could make him less grumpy.

Azure: I thought the same thing *snaps his fingers banishing the clones* well I hope this episode pleased the viewers. It will get better as we go along. A special thanks to my first reviewer, FoolsSin, as well. Atoli could you take us out this time?

Atoli: *buttons her dress back up* Of course! Please send us your dares and questions so we may continue.


End file.
